I first met Rod 40 years ago, going out with his son Neil. We married and a while later our first son Ian was born. His birth coincided with Rod retiring from Ethiopia. and when finally returning home he came straight from the airport to visit his new grandson, and a new, completely unexpected, era began. My mum Joy was staying and he invited mum, Ian and I to come back to Seaton for a little holiday so that he could get to know his baby grandson….2 months old at this stage. We went for the week. At first Mum was helping me with Ian, and Rod would pop in and out. Very quickly though I noticed they were spending more time together, chatting and going out for extra walks….and this is when the blending of two families began. After a number of months mum moved to Seaton to be with Rod, and eventually they got married. Rod became both my father-in-law and my step-father. 2 years after they got together Dad’s second grandson, Sam was born.
So what kind of grandfather was Dad as the boys were growing up? FANTASTIC. He was there for them, he played with them, taught them things, listened to them, and encouraged them. As they grew up he was interested in their hobbies and spent time doing things with them when we visited them or they visited us.
When Dad died I asked both boys if there were any particular mementoes to remember Dad by. Ian asked for his half size snooker table, as Dad played snooker with Ian from the age of about 18 months! When Ian was a bit older they used to dress up in waist coats like the snooker players on the television. Ian now lives in China and unfortunately can’t be with us today but he did visit in February and spent a lot of time with Grandpa.
As a child, Sam and Grandpa shared a mutual interest for knowing facts particularly about insects and bugs. Sam made him a lovely pottery insect. When asked what he would like to have to remember Grandpa, his response was immediate and he shared a lovely story with me. When he was about 8 he went for a walk with Grandpa. Grandpa had a walking stick with him and part way around he stopped, unscrewed the stick and showed Sam a vial which had a bit of whiskey in. He had a sip and gave Sam a tiny sip. Sam hated the taste but loved that he had been included.
As the children grew up Grandpa’s relationship with them grew and evolved. To the very end he followed their careers and interests and always had plenty to talk to them about, sharing his opinion, but also listening to theirs and learning new things from them.
My relationship with Dad over the last 30 years has steadily grown, deepened and evolved. Starting off as Neil’s wife, and his grandson’s mother, we got to know each other as individuals. He was kind, caring and in later years was always very grateful for help received. He was very knowledgeable and loved discussing things with me especially concerning education. He was a really wonderful man whom I loved dearly. He was my 2nd Dad and no words can really express how important he was to me. I am going to miss him greatly.
Debbie MacCuaig